Coming Out

       Our family and friends mean the world to us and sometimes are our world. When we're in the closet, those relationships can seem so fragile, especially when we're not sure what their reaction will be to our sexual identity. The fear of rejection is very real. No one wants to lose loved ones, so coming out of the closet may not seem worth the risk. Oftentimes, we focus so much on what we may lose by coming out that we forget about what we may gain: Openness and freedom to finally express ourselves openly. Many out gay men can attest that coming out was worth the risk.

        Coming out is the process of personally accepting your sexuality and telling others. The coming out process is different for every person. Some experience anxiety, pain and anguish while others find acceptance easier. You may also experience fear, doubt, loneliness, anger and even depression. That's why it is good to surround yourself with others that may be going through the same transition or who have already come out. They can be a great support system.

            After coming out to yourself the next step can be quite difficult: Sharing your sexuality with your loved ones and friends. One of the overriding fears of coming out is the fear of rejection from those we love. You may wonder if your family or friends will stop loving you. Some family and friends have a hard time accepting a gay loved one, while others are extremely supportive. The word "gay" isn't in the closet like it used to be, and if your family don't accept who u are, everyone at school knows what it is (even if there are bullies around), and even if they don't know who's gay on campus. You may find that live at school will be better if you come out and be who you are. You'll not only feel better, but you'll be a role model for other kids who are gay, but nervous about telling everyone. Chances are you're not the only gay kid on campus, but even if you are there are ways you can get support by making your school more gay-friendly.

            Coming out goes well many times, as evident in some coming out stories. But just in case things go sour, here's help on how to deal with rejection from family and friends.